The "S" Word

As Christians, we tend to shy away from the topic of sex too often.  We have given over education in this area to the secular world and the media.  In my opinion, that is a giant mistake. I believe there should be trust between a man and wife and complete confidentiality of what goes on behind closed doors.  At the same time, though, discussing the topic in general does not have to be taboo.  Have any of you ever read the Song of Solomon?? 

"Men put up with marriage for sex; Women put up with sex for marriage."

I was recently introduced to this quote.  Immediately, I took offense.  Sex is a beautiful thing created by God to be ENJOYED within the confines of the covenant marriage relationship, not endured.  Sex is a blessing and not a duty! I do not "put up" with it any more than I "put up" with chocolate or ice cream. This stereotype irks me greatly. It's like we're taught as women that our husband should be a beggar and we should reject him often. I say, why make him beg?  "Let my beloved come to his garden, and eat its choicest fruits." Song of Solomon 4:16

"The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband.  For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does.  Likewise, the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.  Do not deprive each other, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control." 1 Corinthians 7:3-5

Yes, in part it is our duty.  But there is beauty in the duty. Can you imagine if your husband did not fulfill ANY of your emotional needs as a woman unless you begged him?  It would feel ridiculous and meaningless for him to call you beautiful only after you begging for him to.  It's the same with sex.  If you make your husband beg for it, it is not a very great expression of your love.  Sure, he'll still take it, but (and this is a big secret) he wants you to pursue him.  The same way you want him to pursue you and still date you, he wants you to pursue him.  It speaks greatly to his heart of your love and desire for him. 

Now imagine that instead of begging your husband to fulfill your needs he delighted in doing so without a mention of it from you.  How much more would that speak of his love for you?!  So, yes there is an element of duty to it, but it really is beautiful.

As a Christian woman I refuse to see sex within marriage as either dirty or duty!  I will see it the way God intended, as a delight.  And since it is a delight to me, my husband has no reason, or chance, to beg.