“The greatest enemy of hunger for God is not poison but apple pie. It is not the banquet of the wicked that dulls our appetite for heaven, but endless nibbling at the table of the world. It is not the X-rated video, but the prime-time dribble of triviality we drink in every night.” -John Piper
Lately, I've been praying Psalm 51:12: "Restore to me the joy of Your salvation, and uphold me with a willing spirit." It is very easy to let the mundane things steal the joy of our salvation! As I've been praying this I've been reflecting on why my affections for Him have cooled a bit. Part of it has been circumstance. Someone I loved and shared much with shattered me, a friendship broken as a result. And so with this I have been learning forgiveness and humility. I have all hope that full reconciliation can occur through Christ. Someone else that I love very deeply has told me recently of his lost state. He has believed himself to be saved for several years and now has realized that he is not. I have struggled with impatience and even anger with God over this situation. Why won't He just save him now? Why must we wait? God has been patient with me in my unforgiveness and pride and my anger toward Him which are all wrong. He has helped me to continue to forgive and has taken my anger away. But as I've been reflecting on this it hit me that these "major" events in my life have not been the causes of my cooling affections.
The cause? Lots of little nothings. A few months ago Eric and I subscribed to Netflix. It has been great and I have really enjoyed watching movies and documentaries on the nights he spends away. But, in retrospect, the more nights I spent watching movies, the more my mind has been lured away from Him. Please, do not read this as a condemnation of television or movies or media. It is not. I have been watching things that I can say are God-honoring. So how is it possible that they could steal me away? Well, just a little at a time I suppose. As I've been praying for God to restore to me the joy of my salvation, He began to impress on me to spend less time doing "nothings" that I think bring me joy and more time focusing on Him, the ultimate supplier of joy. There was nothing inherently sinful with the movies I was viewing, but I was starting to enjoy watching a movie more than spending time in Bible study and prayer. And at that point, it became a sin for me, an idol. (Exodus 20:3) "Whatever a man depends upon, whatever rules his mind, whatever governs his affections, whatever is the chief object of his delight is his god." -Charles Spurgeon
It's sad isn't it? That instead of spending time with my Creator, Redeemer, and God I would rather watch a movie. How shameful! I'm am not proud of this. There have been days when Eric has been gone and I have intended to have my time with God after the boys go to bed and then instead I decide to watch a movie. And so the day comes and goes with no real alone time, no intimacy with the One I claim to treasure above all else. On that day, I have proven Him not to be my treasure. All I can say is, praise the Lord that tomorrow His mercies are new! (Lamentations 3:22&23)
Media, as well as many other things, can be enjoyed to the glory of God, but these delights lie to us and tell us they are greater than He is. It is good and right to focus on big and obvious areas of sin and to avoid them, but we cannot ignore the "grey areas"; the things that seem good and can lure us away. So be careful and watchful of the sneaky ways by which sin can enter. "If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door. Its desire is for you, but you must rule over it.” (Genesis 4:7) Sin doesn't always walk in announcing itself as sin. It often crouches at the door looking for an opportunity to sneak in. So today instead of trying so hard not to commit the "obvious" sins, I'm just trying to focus on Him. Today, instead of trying not to drink the bleach under my kitchen sink, I'm just going to try to avoid the apple pie on my counter.
**Also, as a random side note, I find it interesting that I will write a blog and leave it saved but unfinished for weeks. Then in conversation, the very topic about which I am writing will arise and suddenly my blog is complete. God begins showing me an area in which I need to grow and then through His Word and friends around me, he cements it into my heart. God is good!
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